♥ Stella's Stories

The days after today.

2012-02-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

' When a small thing start changing, that means everything is starting to change. '

Malacca Trip.

2012-01-10T00:16:00.001+08:00

Yea!! Back to study life,sigh. Just went to registered subjects today. And i get my time table :s Not satisfied wey!

Okkkk,bact to topic. Me, my boy and few of his friends, we went to Malacca before december 2011 end. lol
Is a 2D1N trip...My boy seem so excited you know? hahhahah, he even planned and wrote a schedule. How cute!! :D
But most of the time in his plan is about food...so i think i gained weight in this trip..zzz

First day, we reach Malacca around 1? i don't really remember, hehe! Then we went to eat duck mee and coconut shake. After that we went to check in to our hotel and take a rest. Around 5pm, we went to Jonker Street. :) Awww! I like!

Durian cendol, taste special..but too sweeeeeet :/

Lol, my boy like a boss again. Not sien meh you?!

Yes, I love Edc and I love CLOT! lol

After Jonker Street, we found a very nice place for seafood. Ehmm, that place is near by seaside, is inside a small village, called Portuguese Settlement. That place is freaking nice!! MUST GO PLACE! C:

This two pictures was taken by my baby. I dunno what he drawing, but look nice :) Abstract enough!!

The Next day,

*Baby failed doing what i want :c*

Before we leave Malacca. We went to Jonker Street there craving for Nyonya Food and also Layer cake at Plaza Mahkota :)

The End.

Christmas 2011.

2012-01-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

Finally, i got the mood to blog. :P
About 2011 Christmas and New Year, I AM NOT ALONE ANYMORE. lol

Firstly, is about Christmas. Christmas eve, i was with my boy. We just simply exchanged present and prepare dinner. hahhah..is an unforgettable Christmas eve,Seriously!! Simple, no fireworks, no crowd, but we have home-candle-light dinner <3

The next day, we went to Chilis, KLCC for Christmas dinner.

Baby drove #LikeABoss !!

Baby play iphone #LikeABoss !!

Me? hmmm, standing #LikeABoss !! LOLLLLL

Lastly, we took a picture #LikeA......not enough sleep geh boss before went home.

That's my Christmas eve and Christmas! Simple but full of joy and happiness.

How about yours? :)

Merry Christmas.

2011-12-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

FML.

2011-12-20T23:26:00.001+08:00

I am just not good enough..What should i do?

Thing goes worst everytime i speak real words.

fml

家

2011-12-17T21:15:00.004+08:00

这个家，

该走的走，不该走的也走了。

剩下的是家不成家..

我该怎么做才能让这个家像以前一样？

一个人的家，很空。

一个人的家，很静。

December.

2011-12-04T01:15:00.001+08:00

HEY! HELLO :)

This sem is going to end soon. Next week is the last week. I have alot of course works have to finish by this few days. That make me feel so tired :S

Monday got a test..History of Art!!! wtf, not even touch my notes yet. Have to memorize all the artist name and their artworks name. I can't imagine...ya, i will die soon.

Talk about something that can cheer me up...uhmmm! OH YA! December!

Is December now. Omg, time flies. Is the last month of the year again. For me, December is a lovely month this year. Because.., i got my beloved boyfriend around me. <3

Last few years i did nth on Christmas this romantic day. How waste?! lol

Anyway, this year not gonna happen anymore. :D Because my boyfriend already make an appointment to date me. hahahhahah

Okay. I'm so sleepy now actually. Spend my whole day to finish up my colour study final coursework. I gonna go bed now. Tomorrow is another busy day...to memorize my notes. swt

GOOD NIGHT WORLD.

Please Forgive Me.

2011-11-26T18:30:00.001+08:00

I feel so sorry and guilty. I shouldn't make a decision like this, but i have no choice.

God, please forgive me.

Please forgive me did a very wrong and cruel decision.

:'(

I am sorry,.....so sorry.

Sunny Day.

2011-10-30T14:34:00.001+08:00

時光飛逝.

2011-09-29T11:41:00.001+08:00

爸，不知不覺你已經離開我們10個月了。
感覺上好像很久.....可是你的離開對我來說還是很難接受。

從你發生意外，昏迷，心跳漸弱，離開。這短短的十多天，就好像昨天的事一樣。歷歷在目....
那十多天是我人生中最難忘，最難過，最痛苦，最掙扎，最刻骨銘心的。
自從你走了以後，每一次我突然想起你的時候，總是紅了眼眶。

你知道嗎？我曾經真的以為我是最幸福的孩子。
可是你的突然離開，改變了一切。包括我的人生...
生活變得很難過。
每一次我聽著媽說哥哥姐姐有多不聽話，我的心就很煩。可是我沒說什麽，因為現在在這個家，就只有我聽她傾訴。

爸，我真的很想念你在家的日子。

September.

2011-09-26T23:28:00.001+08:00

Hello.

Recently busy with homeworks,exercises,assignments..and also dating xD

Busy September,lol. But i love my life.

And..nowdays i spend alot of money on my art classes.

All the art tools are freaking expensive,hmmmm...oh ya,guess what?!

Im going to get my own DSLR, is Nikon D5100.

WOAH!! what the freak..hahahha. It was my dream,and now not dream anymore!!

:DDD

My eyes closing soon, fml. Tomorrow morning class again,and stay back after class for

photography class assignment.

Gonna go bed now.

BYE and GOODNIGHT.

中秋節快樂.

2011-09-11T23:29:00.002+08:00

爸，中秋節快樂。

今年的中秋少了你....

Sweet days coming to Me.

2011-09-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

We're in Love.

You always make me smile from heart.

Be Loved.

2011-09-02T00:22:00.001+08:00

You melted my heart. Seriously..you're so sweet.

I feel appreciate to God.

God gave me a chance to meet you.

Tomorrow.

2011-08-30T00:10:00.003+08:00

How Deep Is Your Love?

2011-08-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

My choice.

2011-08-22T11:50:00.002+08:00

Although everything seem like changing, but i'm still remain the same.

You might felt that i changed, but actually not.

I have the right to choose.

Choose my Life.

Choose my Love.

Choose my Freedom.

But you're not my choice.

Friend.

2011-08-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

He is not my boyfriend. We're just friend. I still have the right to choose. Other than that? I dont know..because i dont know what will happen at the next.

So, dont ask me anymore. I'm single and still available =)

Sponge-da-bob!

2011-08-07T22:48:00.001+08:00

LOL,i know those my friends who always check their fb might so pissed recently.

Know why?? because is stella with da spongebob AGAIN!! *swt*

Isn't him so cute? Hmmm...

I pamper him alot <3 I bring him wherever i go. :) Since the day i get him,i dont need to drive alone anymore. He's with me in the car. Even i sleep or just walk around in the house,he's with me. *blush*

Okay!! I know i might abit crazy. But at least i feel happy with him! LOL, we're in love <3

Finished showing off. I'm so tired,lack of sleep nowdays. Gotta sleep now.

Good Night :)

安心。

2011-08-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

有時候只想靠著你。

什麽都不用想的靠著。

這就是我尋找已久的安全感嗎?

我不知道。

已經太久沒那種感覺了..就算真的是，我也不會分。

只是覺得，靠著你..很安心。

:')

Strong?

2011-07-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes my friends will said, ' Hey,stella. You're so strong. You won't cry althought we ask you about your dad. I heard you saying only feel like wanna cry ald.'

I dont know that i'm strong.

I just wont easily cry infront of anyone. I'll just cry to the person that i believe..

FML.

2011-07-23T14:11:00.000+08:00

FML.

Justnow i was wondering why my blog's pictures all couldn't show. And i realized i had delete it ALL last few days! Oww shit!!

Okay, calm. Is useless now to shit here and there anymore. ='( But seriously, fuck my stupid hand!!

Why?

2011-07-21T01:19:00.000+08:00

I dont understand why you so like to mess up my mind. Everytime when you're moody, then you ask me to chat. Is ok if just chat, but you why you have to ask so many 'Why' questions??

Me and you, past.

You already have your girlfriend. Is that still important about 'why'? I dont think so..

My life is GREAT now! I'm looking forward.

Please dont ask me WHY about the past anymore.

College.Life.

2011-07-01T21:22:00.001+08:00

HELLO!! I dont know is there still got people to come and read my blog or not,lol. Please forgive,because i am seriously busy recently and a lil bit lazy =P

Fyi, i started college ald. First sem now, it's a short sem. Now is the second week ald..nope! Is going to the third week ald. hahahha

Seriously, i have fun with my groupmates. They're cute and funny =) But,..i hate presentation!!

I'm so nervous to talk infront of the class. We're now taking m'sian studies and moral studies this sem, so our class is actually a big class. Means alot of students. swt

Next week gonna have two presentation. haih...i hope i can do well. God bless! God bless!

I hope this sem can end faster. I just can't wait to go to another courses ald. I means like phtography,web design and other else. ACCEPT those boring courses,like msian studies. Oh gosh! I failed my sejarah in spm. I have no idea how i gonna take msian studies exam at this coming August. =(

Okay,gtg. Byeeeeee!

I'M BACK!!!

2011-06-14T16:56:00.001+08:00

YEAH YEAH!!! I'M BACK TO MY LIFE.

AND SOON, MY NEW LIFE WILL START!

Wait for my update.

Complicated??

2011-05-04T01:24:00.001+08:00

Keep raining recently. Almost every evening..and my mood is getting down..down...down and down...My feeling now is complicated??or confusing? I always couldn't understand myself well.

Sometimes we're near, but sometimes might far apart. We knew each other like age already. Did we understand each other?
Sometimes i can feel he did care about me, but sometimes no. We're having so many part look alike. But i cant even list it out what are them? Is habit, attitude...?
Sometimes we order the same drinks at the same time. But the problem is his drinks is with cream but mine is not.
Sometimes i saw your status, you was in dilemme. I was wondering what happened to you or Who made you in dilemme.
Sometimes when i saw you caring to another girls or you chat happily or you both sharing secret...I'll get jealous.

I like you?? Or i just like you being my friend? Complicated? Shouldn't like this...

Life still going on.

2011-04-28T13:28:00.000+08:00

Busy body!

2011-04-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

Imma back!! =D

Okay, i know i know..Have been ages i didnt update my blog. I wanna blog so much, but just..no that mood. I was quite down past few weeks. Hmmm, firstly..sister and niece leave soon. They will fly back to China 9/5. Like so fast?? quite.

And guess what, i'll be going to ns so soon too. Next month 17th. I'm not worry about myself when i'm in camp. I just worry about my mum... She like to nag me, like every single moment.lol

If i'm not home, who gonna talk to her?? I just didn't want to leave her alone.

Next is, Finally!! I means finally i registered for my college intake on June. Yes! I choose to take diploma in creative multimedia at last minute. I hope i will have fun with the new study enviroment and new friends maybe?? hehehheh.

And what else i have to say huh?....hmm, nothing ald i guess. Because i'm so sleepy now. =P Drive all day long isn't best thing!! How my life will be when my college life start? I have to drive there ~~EVERYDAY~~?! gosh

FOOD!!!

2011-04-10T20:03:00.000+08:00

Imma just so freaking hungrayyy right now =(

I need FOOD! Maybe Carl's Jr fries potatoes or burger, Mc donald frenchfries, chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream, pizza, noodles? rice?..............

OMG!!!

Dilemma.

2011-04-07T16:48:00.000+08:00

I am down. My life is in a dilemma, Always!! *fml*

I hate myself. In fact, i shouldn't care about him anymore. He is just a faker, i know..but i still care. Why?? shit shit shit and shit.

I should really stop everything from now on. He's not mine, he's so fake, he's a guy that always lied, he didn't have faith at all! Okay, I HATE HIM. There're so many reasons for me to hate him!!

And i've promise myself, not gonna talk to him anymore. He'll be transparent in my sight.

Yes yes yes, i can do it.

S, get a new life! =D

I need...

2011-04-05T22:48:00.001+08:00

I need someone to care about me..

I need someone to hug me tight..

I need someone to kiss on my forehead..

I need someone to lend me a shoulder..

I need someone to share my happy..

I need someone to share my unhappy..

曖昧。

2011-04-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

曖昧是，比朋友親一點，但比情人再遠一點。

曖昧是，你常常會在MSN等他上線。
當他幾天沒有上線，你就會擔心。

曖昧是，你會不時去他的BLOG看看有沒有更新。
而且你會留意字裡行間，他對你有沒有暗示。

曖昧是，有感覺，然而，
這種感覺不注意讓你們切切實實的發展一段正式的關係。

曖昧是，你明白人生有太多的無奈，現實有太多限制。
你知道沒有可能，但卻不捨得放手。

曖昧是，有進一步的衝動，但卻沒有進一步的勇氣。

曖昧是，他不是你的情人，
但是似乎他比你的情人更關心和瞭解你。

曖昧是，雖然他不是你的情人，
但他卻會對你說：你對我很重要。

曖昧是，每當他提起他另一半時，你會萬箭穿心。

曖昧是，甜甜的同時又酸溜溜的。
往往還沒開始，已叫人不安，患得患失

曖昧是，當別人以為你們地下情時，你會沾沾自喜。

曖昧是，當別人問你們是否在戀愛，你會張口結舌。

曖昧是，常常掙扎表不表白。
往往怕表白以後不但得不到一個情人，更會失去一個知心朋友。

曖昧是，兩人常常都會互相猜想。

曖昧是，..................

你滿心歡喜，你開始心懷期待，就連做夢都會笑出來，
可是他就是什麽也不說。

你對自己說等等再等等，
直到有一天你看到他身邊出現了另一個身影。

你震撼 '' 不是......這是..........我是......? ''

傷心？難過？痛苦？...

[ Copied from my friend ] =)

Results.

2011-03-29T13:33:00.000+08:00

HELLO! I am back =)))

Last wednesday, SPM results released. Everyone of my friends are all so worry, seriously i know why you all worry about. But i have no that worry feel at all.Okay, i am weird i know. Lol, even my mama also very nervous. I just like i have nothing to worry about, because i tried my best.

So, my results not very excellent but satisfied. I get 2A, 3B, 1C, 1E and 1G. Oh ya, as usual, my sejarah failed! =P And i get E in econ, because i didnt read anything about econ before exam. I was seriously gave up ald. Lol

I am so satisfied with my bm result. Bm is one of the subject i score A. A big thanks to my father. Know why? When everyone are so nervous for the first day, first spm paper, my mind was empty, my heart is broken. My father pass away one day before my spm bm exam start. The day before exam, i keep crying keep doing revision for my bm paper. I dont know how it's feel like...just hard to explain. The first day of exam, i bought along my father's watch to sit for exam. I forgot the title i choosen but i remember what did i wrote about. I wrote about my real story, the story of my father incident. Yes..i keep write and keep tears drop. My father blessed me. He's with me =')

I love you and i miss you so much!!

Okay,after get our results. Me and friends went yamcha. We drove all the way to tesco just for....this...

Woah! Spot my bag =D hahhha. Ya, we went there just for this. Silly-nya four of us.Lol

I enjoyed the day. I love my father and my friends. =))

p/s: LOVE LIFE.

World Peace!

2011-03-22T15:38:00.001+08:00

I am so fucking pissed off today! What a bad day for me? Get scold for no reason?

Yesterday i received a call from an agent, she ask me to work on this saturday and sunday. I told her i'm only able to work at midvalley which means is only this saturday and sunday. Total salary of two days are only RM160,somemore i have to attend the training at pj. *It's seriously quite low the salary*
I asked her whether the payment is on the spot or one month cheque. She said i have to wait one month to get the payment after i finish my job. It's ok,because i know most of these job are like this. Then i told her give me time to consider and i'll tell her as soon as possible. Then she said okay,and she sent me a form and asked me to fill up if i wanna take this job.

Okay, this morning, problem came.
She called me, and talked to me with an unfriendly voice. Lol, i used to describe like this.
she asked me why i didnt send the form back to her. I said i can't take this job, because i usually working for those jobs with payment on the spot. And she start scolding me, bla bla bla...!
What the hack?? I never promise you i will work for you. I can choose!! Asshole!

Btw,i still remember WORLD PEACE!! I did apologized, although i dont know what's wrong she keep scolding me. But she still keep talking to me with a bad attitude. So, i end up the call. Really sorry Bitch!! : )

Human! Remember World Peace, No war!! And save this world.

:)))

Buzzzzzzz!

2011-03-18T23:24:00.001+08:00

Oh yeah, talk about last Sunday. Woke up 11am plus, the very first thing i did once i opened my eye, ~~CheckFacebook~~!! Lol, bad habit i know :-P
Saw ms.christine post about she was at midvalley edu fair. Gosh! I called her immediately told her wait me to come. Rush rush rush...finally, 2pm i reached there. Met her up and also a new friend, Wenshing :-) Heehee.
Walked around edu fair, looking for some interested colleges. I am now so confusing with choosing course and college. By the way, not going to intake so fast, because...i have to go ns! -.- *Damn shit*

Okay,back to topic. After edu fair, we went Delicious for tea time (Y)

Yummylicious.Aww!

Finished tea time, ms.christine and Wenshing went to watch movie. Me? hehehh, walked around and looking for a new bag for my mama :-)

That's all about my Sunday.

Praying.

2011-03-15T01:16:00.000+08:00

OH-MY-GOD!!

The world is sick.

Peoples, pray hard for the victims in Japan please!! God bless everyone in Japan and all humans around the world. 2012, is it really the end of ther world? Seriously, i believe that one day later our world will gone. Our world is sick. Too many natural disaster nowdays. Massive earthquake, tsunami, wind damage disaster and more..This is the effect of we didn't love this world. God have been gave us this world as our home, please love it and be appreciate.

World Peace! <3

Am I too easy to give up?

2011-03-12T00:13:00.001+08:00

Should i just give up?

There're too much of questions but i couldn't get any answer.

Sometimes when you giving too much, you'll expect to have more returns too.

:'(

I know i am not good enough.

Oppa!!

2011-03-09T00:52:00.000+08:00

OHHH! I am so in love with JangGeunSuk oppa ♥

I love his smile, his teeth, his hair, his voice and ALL!!!

Even my sister also scold me :-( She said me chi jor sin..arg!! I'm not okay.

See what i did just now...HEE!

Faint liao lo! How come he's so cute ♥♥♥

Okay, i gonna dream about him tonight.

:')

Just a short update. Bye guys!

Life.

2011-03-06T01:39:00.001+08:00

HALOOO!! Heyy, sorry guys..my blog is dead. Like agesssss didnt update my blog.

But today,i means now,Woah! Look at the clock, already 1am plus. I used my sleep time to update my blog, how good am I. Such a hardworking girl right? xD *Don't ignore me please!* hahahha

My life is great nowdays. Although sometimes there still some bitch or bastard disturb my life, but i would like to say ThankYou to them. lol, they excitation my life anyway :-)

Time flies. Is March now. Means that 2 more months my sister and my niece gonna back to China. A house without a child...equal to silence :'((( Worrying about the day i gonna send my niece off at airport. Last time when she went back i cried like hell in the airport. Now will be more worst i think.

Everyone leaving this house.....the house will be so empty, lack of joy and laugh.

Why i need to face so much of damn thing in my life? Aspecially PARTING : (

God, i am just an ordinary girl who always hope to have a wonderful family and peaceful life.

I think i know my only birthday wish now... Peoples, please dont leave me. I need more love in my life.

Am I in the world?

2011-02-23T01:38:00.001+08:00

I just realised, now...today,...is 23 Feb!! LOLL. Means that,my 18th birthday is on tomorrow. Opps!

I didnt have a plan as usual and maybe will just pass my day like a normal day but just with a different mood. Hehehh. Ehmm, dont you ever think that i am so pity, because i am not. Last year althought i didnt have a big birthday celebration, but i've received a lot of wishes. Plus, my classmate gave me a suprise too : ))
They're awesome! I'll never forget the cake,the suprise.

This year would be a lil bit different without my father. But, it's okay. I know he'll always give me all the best wishes!

Words To My Beloved Father,

过了生日，我就18岁了。爸，我想念你 :')

Dissapointment.

2011-02-20T13:47:00.000+08:00

Seriously, i have a very bad mood this few days. Bad feeling started surround me on Friday night.

Yes! When we expect too much from others people, we might disappointed. We know...but not 100% can do it well.
I have been expect the night for few days already. So excited, worried and nervous. When i saw you, i felt so happy but felt sad at the same time when i know your girlfriend at your house.
LOL,of course i know your girlfriend hate me alot. That's why you can't join us for the gathering. I think if i am not the driver that night, emmm...you maybe can join the gathering. Obviously,i am so disappointed : (

I thought we can sit down and have a talk. Since the last time (2 or 3 years ago) you cheat on me, i deleted all your contacts. I was so angry that time, i don't even ask you why you lied or give you a chance to explain. Because the reason you gave could be a lie too,right?
This few years i was trying so hard to forget and also not to ask friend about your current news. I tried, but failed. That night,i met you. But not really talk too much. Ya, i know your girlfriend hate me.LOL,SHE HATE ME SO MUCHHH!!

I knew she tried very hard to let you dont even have a chance to contact me again. Goshh! Told you guys, his girlfriend not allow him to give his contact number to anyone of his friends,EVEN is a boy also cannot. Plus, his girlfriend scare that i'll grab his boyfriend, so that she leave her parents and moved to the guy's house. Holyshit,lol!! I have no chance to tell that girl don't worry that i will grab her boy. Please! Worry about your boyfriend see whether he've lied or not la. Just be confident to yourself please.

I admit that i still like him, but i will never be the third person in a relationship or grab him back from you.

爱是不能勉强的。幸福也不是靠束缚得来的...清醒吧！

Updated.

2011-02-17T01:45:00.000+08:00

Emmm,this post not gonna be an EMO post. But i wanna scold some brainless seafood (lala) so badly. Once i think of that girl, only a bunch and a bunch of bad words come out from my mind.

I can't really understand those young girl thinking.Opps,no. Did she think? She never use brain i think. Only 14 years old!! I know i shouldn't judge you. But the problem is, you kacau my peaceful life, so i don't think i still need to respect you.

Hey,girl!! Please shut your fucking big mouth up. Firstly, i admit i am not really like you. Due to you're my cousin, so i did respect you and still give you a shit smile face. What i talked, what i posted on my facebook that's my freedom. I don't need you to be a BMW(big mouth women) help me to promote anything. I never meet a girl before like you, no respect to others even your own uncle, and so fat hao fat dan. Gosh! Is me outdate or what,only 14 years old girl always posted something ''i miss you till wanna die'', '' cant live without you'', '' love you here love you there...'' Vomit while i saw your those fucking annoying status.
For my health, i blocked you on facebook.

I swear, this is the last chance for you. If you dare to be a big mouth women next time. Just be careful brainless girl! And remember,RESPECT!

P/s: Don't use asshole to think anymore!

I am a loser,perhaps.

2011-02-13T01:42:00.000+08:00

I am completely not really understand myself.

Don't even know what i want in my future life.

Can't even get what i wanted.

I just want a FAMILY.

I just want to be with my father,mother...my parents..they're my happiness.

:'(((((

The first and second days.

2011-02-07T00:52:00.001+08:00

My family didn't celebrate chinese new year this year. So,this year cny is the most boring cny i ever had before. -.-

年初一

I fetched my mum, sister and also my lil niece to visit my father. Just four of us..mum told me on the night before chu1,she said she wanted to go to see dad. So, i fetched her there. This is the first cny without my dad, wondering will he feel so lonely without us. I did :-(

年初二
Have a date with the lovely Christine chuuuu :-) We went to pavillion for....uhmm, for spent time i think.LOL
This is the best birthday gift for me this year,Thanks someone!!

And here's my model,christine chuuu :-)

Love this pic.Credit to chuu,hehh!

Nooooooor,just wanted to show off my top.hohooho,i love this top.From Pull&Bear,it's so cheap!

I am short althought with high heels.Sad right?

:'(

Have been line up for so long to get this for my mum and niece :-) I love them!

That's all for the first and second day of my 2011 cny.

Buaiiiii!!

Happy Chinese New Year

2011-02-03T01:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
and Gong Hei Fatt Choi!!!

I did spent alot this month. I didn't celebrate cny but i bought many new cloths.lol
Anyway,thanks for my mother. She bought me a bbcream and a high heel. I love it so much <3
and i'll grab a new toy so so soon :-)
Just confusing which colour i have to take. Ehmmmm,....

No way!

2011-01-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

I dont want to go hospital anymore!! Aspecially Hospital at klang.
:'(
I hate that place!

'' Hey,you! Have you ever feel guilty before? Honestly, no matter how many times you trying to say apologize or whatever, i won't forgive you! Is you cause my father pass away. You made my life changed. Because of you, my mother lost his good husband. Because of you, i lost my father and my happy family. Not you, i dont have to face this changes in my life, i dont even have to see my dad's heartbeat getting slower and slower day by day,and finally he left. You won't understand how it's feel like. Because you're not me, and that's not your father. Everytime i saw you father's photo and i'll remember that i saw him on the bed in ICU, however i scream or cry...he won't look at me or say something to me anymore. You wont understand how sad i am. How pain my heart is... I HATE YOU! SO DAMN MUCH! ''

Kimchi maker!

2011-01-21T15:51:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Finally i have the 'passion' to update my blog now.

hahhahaha

Okay..Ehmm, i gained weight i think. :-( Staying at home and nothing to do is quite boring. I'm not only eat when i feel hungry but also when i feel bored. Plus, idk why i like to cook and i like to make something can eat. LOL

yup, back to the topic. KIMCHI! Do you like kimchi?

I think not everyone can accept the taste of kimchi. But i love it so much. Especially when kimchi with rice.Yummyyyyyyyy!! :-D

But i feel malaysia's korean food is a little bit expensive compare with those real korean's restaurant that i tried before at China.Ofcourse not only the price but the taste also. Due to those reason, i learned to make kimchi at home. Btw, need to say thanks to my sister. She taught me made kimchi.

Few of my friend asked me how to make kimchi. So that i made a post here. :-) I just use the most simple recipe to make it. To complex then i couldn't understand also. hahaha,ignore me.

Firstly,you need to buy a cabbage. I get it from tesco,around rm2-3 only.

Remember to wash it. Wash every layer make sure it is clean before you put salt on it.

After clean it. Put salt on the top of every layer of the cabbage. Leave it like an hours or more. You will see the plate will have a lot of water. Those water is come out from the cabbage and after that the cabbage will become soft.

Apple or pear needed. Fine red chili flakes, garlics, ginger, onions.

Use citrus juicer to make all of them become 'paste'?emm...like this..

Blend all those to the cabbage. And prepare a tupperware for the kimchi. Then put it in your refrigerator for few days or a week. It can actually keep for up to a month in your refrigerator.

DONE!

You can try to make, but dont blame if you cant make it well. Because i'm not a pro kimchi maker.

lol

190111

2011-01-19T01:04:00.001+08:00

1.04am

Don't you know life is so tough without you?

How are you doing over there?

Do you miss us?

I know you do miss us.

I miss you too, my beloved father.

120111

2011-01-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

The another day for me and christine went to midvalley for an interview. I supposed to go hospital with mom and sister, but..i seriously don't like to go hospital anymore. Many unhappy memories at there and hospital..the place my father left me. =(((

hmm..okay. Back to topic.

Our interview at 2pm, and we arrived there i think is 11am. Quite early..so that we went to walk around again. But this time i didn't bought anything. Because i'm broke!!
Around 12 something,we went to have our brunch. We found a new place.LOOL,set lunch,Guess what?! only RM16. Free drinks,salads and soup provided, plus nice enviroment. =D

Salads and the lamb chop. The salad is delicious!!

*Nom Nom Nom*

So after brunch and girl's talk. We have to go interview. The job is quite ok. But just they have no cny holidays given. So that i gave up already. Sigh...means that my camera ''cold than water''.

Maybe after cny will find another job.lol

Watched Paranormal activity2. Not realy understand.lol

That was the day. Bye..

070111.

2011-01-09T00:55:00.001+08:00

Uh ya, i felt quite bored sitting at home everyday. Remember what said? I'll should properly go and get a job while waiting to get into the 'JAIL' (Nasional service i means) :-)

Friday, day out with Christina chuuu. Both of us went to Midvalley to find job. Our main aim is to get a job, so we should actually spot to some words like VACANCY. But you know girls right? Like to shop..uhmm,i means while i was searching for job, i also did some shopping.LOL

Hahahah, i'm not really a shopaholic. But just..sometimes would be. I spent quite alot at Zara,uhmmm..

btw,we also found many jobs over there. Just all are waiting for call.

Had my brunch, Carl's Jr.

Then continue to search for job at TheGarden. And i found this..

YES!! I want this,will save money from now. I like it so much. Not too expensive,but i scare if i buy this now my mom will scold me 99. So,just wait for while. I'm sure i can grab it soon :-D

Before home sweet home, we went to Starbucks. Again!! hahahha

I am just so in love with Pepermint.

Conclusion, spent alot. But quite happy :-)

040111

2011-01-04T22:03:00.000+08:00

My ass is burning and going to die soon!! :-(

I miss my highschool life. I want to hang around at school with those ponteng kaki. I want to chat with them, play and having fun with them.
Sitting at home everyday until my ass pain.LOLL!! I think i should properly go and get a job as soon as possible.

Today had a very big arguement with my mom. But we're fine now :-) I felt so guilty. I am sorry...i used to stay silence when you get angry. But sometimes is just too over, so i should said something. haihhh,but is ok. I know what should i do next time when you get angry again.

Ehmmmmmm, any nice korean drama intro? I want those crama can let me cry non-stop one. Feeling so lost recently. :-( I hope i'm just think too much. That is better than a joke become the truth.

God bless!

010111

2011-01-02T01:13:00.001+08:00

Guess what? I just came back from genting few days ago and yesterday i went genting AGAIN.
peoples said i'm crazy...uhmm,YA..i think so. :-)

Actually i went there to meet up with my lover mr.LKJ. 9pm something only go, 10pm something arrived.

Pictures do talking :-)

The road is blocked by those police, because there're too many cars on genting.

Walk all the way from don't know where to Genting Hotel. Walk outside the buildings and is under the rain,oh shit!

After met up with mr.LKJ then accompanied him to search for some food.

Seriously,that camera not really suitable for me. For me it is too big already.LOL,but the outcome is quite nice.

Next, is time to Starbucks!

Starbucks Peppermint Mocha is love.

This chewing gum recommended by mr.LKJ. Good, but quite pricy..uhmmm.

Ok, time to make a conclusion. Last night was the very first new year eve together with them. And also the very first time accompanied a guy to choose guy's underwear during new year eve.LOLL!!! A quite funny experience for me and also a great night for me. I appreciate all the wishes and every person beside me, including my family, friends and my two beloved bestfriend, YENNEE and KARJUN.

Happy New Year,Dad. :' )

311210

2010-12-31T13:39:00.000+08:00

I am so confusing nowdays.

People usually regret when they realised they've missed out something or someone important.
uhmm...YES! I'm the one of them.
But trust me, i didn't mean to hurt anyone. Just i felt that,...that's is my choice.
I have the right to try to.

I don't really need to explain for anyone who misunderstanding me. I know what am i doing no matter is right or wrong.

301210

2010-12-30T22:18:00.001+08:00

My lovely Vanilla Raisin Cupcakes.

Materials needed :

120g Unsalted butter

100g Sugar

1/4 teaspoon of Salt
3 Eggs
1 teaspoon of Vanilla Essence or Vanilla powder
210g Cake Flour
1 1/2 teaspoon of Baking Powder
60ml Milk

You can add whatever you like in the cupcakes. Uhmm...Chocolate chip,Raisin or some fresh fruit.
For more imformation CLICK

Home sweet home.

2010-12-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

I am so exhausted now. Two days never sleep more than 10 hours,and having seriously home sick. :-((((
Where am I went to in this 2days?
Lol, i went genting with the classmates.
:-D

Lets pictures do the talking,

*Day 1*

*Day 2*

It was just a short post,just for sharing some pictures here. Will be update soon.
Bye guys :-)

A different Christmas Eve.

2010-12-26T14:40:00.000+08:00

Christmas is over.

How is your Christmas Eve?

countdown with your friends? family? or your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Remember that,every year before Christmas i always wished to have a very special christmas. But every year i was just went out and countdown with my friends..

This year was totally different.

A Christmas without my father. I know mom must be so depressed. So I choose to stay at home to accompany her.

Big sister decided to bring us out for Christmas Eve dinner. Three of us went to kepong steak house to have our very late dinner.

I felt so warm that night. Because I am with my family.

Since the day my father leave me, i learned something. We have to cherish every single moment with our family.

Who's the most important person for us in life? Not your boyfriend or girlfriend! Obviously.. Is your family.

Nothing is more important than family.

As usual, I miss you so much. But dad, don't sad because you leave us. Don't cry..we're fine. I'll try my best to take good care of mom. So don't worry about us.

ILY <3

221210

2010-12-22T00:25:00.001+08:00

2010, a very big change happened. Never ever forget!

Two weeks before my father leave me, i ever felt that i'm the most happiness girl in the world. I have a great day with my dad and mom. They accompanied me for shopping, bought me what i want. I remember that i had post a status on my facebook and trying to tell everyone I'm a so lucky girl, because i have my parents with me all the times.

Only a week, everything changed.
I lost my beloved father.
Whatever I talked to him, he have no respond anymore. I felt so depressed...like i lost everything in a sudden.
Seriously, no one can really understand my feeling accept you really go through this.

I miss you so much every single moment. Tears rolling in my eyes everytime i saw your pictures. My heart is broken everytime i talk to you in the picture.

Life is getting tough after you leave us, Dad.
Life is getting tough without you by my side.

*A incomplete family picture without you,heart-eaching.*

P/s- I dont really understand why those fucking brainless people like to suicide and still wanna update something childish thing on facebook. If you really want to die just go ahead, stop post your status here and there. Life is so precious! Please, think before you decide to suicide. Think about your family, your friends and those people who wanna to be alive but no chance.

My Private Christmas Song.

2010-12-15T11:38:00.000+08:00

My Private Christmas Song

Eason Chan

While this Christmas

I am falling like snowflakes at your door

As my guardian angel′s singing for someone else

Eternity stains when love has turned into pain

love must be something I don′t deserve

This is my private Christmas Song

All the memories are fading

Snow turns to rain

As tonight I am craving for those endless kisses

A melody written for someone

just as a child has its parents

This song is something you never care for

This is my Private Christmas song

This is my Private Christmas Song

Sorry.

2010-12-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

I'm Sorry.

I dont know how to comfort you or let you feel better. I know you're sad. I understand what you trying to tell me. I know your feeling.

I want to say something to cheer you up, but i'm speechless.
I felt guilty everytime you told me about that he gonna leave soon. Because i can't give you any useful comfort..

I remember that last time when your dad leave you. You cried when i called you. I know you're so sad and heart broken, but i dont know what should i say or how to comfort you. I just cried with you.

And last few weeks, my dad accident and he became coma and brain dead. I called you, i cried. You tring to comfort me and told me that my dad will be fine. And finally, you cried too.

I don't know why the God gave us a 'test'. God took away our beloved father. We're just two sixteen and going to seventeen years old girl. Ya, a lil girl.
God, i always have faith to you. I believe that when you took something from us and you'll give us something good.

Just like you dear yennee, God have been give you a chance to meet him. And both of you love each other. God is just giving you him to depend on. but at the same time, God give you a test you. A test for both of you.
So, be faith to God. I know you always did, right?

Anyway, I am here by your side. Will be forever :-)
<3
Be happy, please.

0512.10

2010-12-10T15:49:00.000+08:00

Finally, there're one more subject to go!
*ECON,grrrr!! You really waste my time.*
Just forget it.. xD

Last Sunday was a happy day. Brother came home earlier that day. Oh ya, i should praise my brother. Know what? He's getting hardworking now. He's now take charge of my dad's work, he's just like my father, even sunday also need to bring those workers to work. GOOD! :-)

ok,finished praising him. continue..

That day was the first time he brought me out for shopping! was so excited, TEEHEE.
We went to 1u.
Bro bought many new cloths. Guess what? My bro paid for me too :-DDD But i didn't spend him alot of money also,only myr130. Because i only bought a top.
I felt so so happy because this is the first time he bought me something by using his own money.

Liese <3

heehe,but after finished shopping he went to find his friend, leave me alone. Luckily baby came with his boyfriend.
The last time we meet like ages ago. lol, finally!

IMY LEEYENNEE

Thank you,bro!

IMY :-(

2010-12-04T14:45:00.001+08:00

For my beloved Father,

I miss you..I miss you so much! The house without you is so empty. Every evening, I look out from house, keep thinking why you haven't come home yet. Since the day you leave us, i sleep with mom every night. I know she's crying sometimes. Know what? She miss you so much.

Mom told me, her heart is so pain. I said,'' Me too..''
She said, '' Ya, i know you all are very sad too. But I'm different..because he's my forever. He leave me without telling me anything. ''

She is sad. I know..but i don't know what can i do for her beside telling her not to think too much.

Dad, i know you're not willing to leave us actually. It was a very sudden accident. You love us, everyone of us. You always give us the best things. You always brought us to travel. Although you always busy with your business with your work, once you have holiday, you'll just bring us to travel. I miss the day...

I willing to use my everything to change you back to home.

Dad, I love you. I miss you so much :-(

Come home,please!

2010-11-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

10days..Already 10days my dad didnt come home. I miss him so much :-(
Heartache, i going to hospital everyday. I talk beside him, hold his hand, cry like a crazy inside the ICU. but he didnt answer me or even give me some respon. His hand is getting colder and colder day by day. His heart beat is getting slower and slower day by day. I can't sleep tight every night.I didnt dare to put my phone near to me,because i scare that my phone will ring in the middle of the night and that will be a call from hospital. Tell me please,how i gonna be tough?

爸，我很累。我撑得很累...为什么你还不回家？你不要我们了吗？你一句话也不说就这样睡，醒也不醒来看看我吗？我叫你难道你没听见吗？我的眼泪每一天都滴在你的手上，难道你感觉不到吗？为什么你不应我？为什么你不回家？家里不能没有你的....爸，我求求你，快点醒来跟我们回家好不好？不要再睡了...家里很多人等着你回来的！你不能不回家的..如果你不会来我要怎么好？妈妈要怎么好？我求求你好不好...我求你一定要坚持住，一定要自己学会呼吸。你不能再这样一直靠机器呼吸的..你的心跳不可以停的，你听见了没有？我在你耳边叫那么大声你都听不见吗？

爸...跟我回家好不好？不要再留在医院睡了，你已经睡了很久了。家里不能没有你的...我求你...

I'll be tough!

2010-11-13T12:24:00.002+08:00

Im so tired, headache, hungry. But I have lost my appetite, insomnia. I'm trying to eat something, but i really no appetite. I never eat anything from thursday till now. Just drink some hot chocolate..I am so worry.

很想睡，可是只要我一闭上眼，我就会想起我一去到医院的那一刻。爸爸从ICU推出来....我第一眼看到他，我就捂住脸在哭。眼泪不停不停的流下来，完全控制不了。我和妈妈跟在病床后面，一边走一边在哭。医生说必须马上动手术，可是却是50%的机会。在手术室外面等，一边等一边哭。我都不记得我哭了多久，手术做了多久。几个小时后，爸爸从手术室被推出来。我完全就崩溃了...看着他的样子，一点反应也没有...医生说，大脑里面的血块已经拿了出来，可是还在出血..至于血会不会停，几时会停那就完全靠他意志了。妈妈在哭，我很想安慰她..可是我自己也在哭。医生说，情况不乐观，还在危险期...
在ICU外面等了很久，医生还不能让我们进去看他。妈妈叫我先回家...我真的很不想回，可是家里不能没人照顾外婆。那天，我从4点多一直哭到晚上回到家还在哭...我什么也做不了，就只会哭！一整晚都没睡..第二天早上很早就起身去了学校。到最后还是不放心，所以叫姐姐来学校接我一起去医院。
到了医院，哥哥说爸爸的情况暂时算是稳定，可是还在危险期。妈妈叫我和姐姐进去ICU看看爸爸。
走着进去，远远看到我爸爸我有崩溃得哭了。我站在爸爸的床边，一边哭一边叫: '' 爸...'' 叫了几声我看见他的眼睛动了动。之后我再说: '' 爸...快点醒啊...爸！明天阿姐会带萱萱从中国回来看你...你快点醒啊..爸...'' 之后我又看见我爸爸的嘴动了动...我知道他听到我在和他说话的...只是他没有力气去答我。

Friends,

Thanks for caring and helping. I can't tell you i'm ok or i'm fine now, atleast i'm trying my best to cheer up. Don't worry..I'll take good care for myself and also my mom. Thanks!

*爸，快点醒过来。家里不能没有你！你要坚持住...我们都在等你回家...*

I Love My Mother.

2010-11-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

I am a happy girl today. Emmm, i means 5Nov. This morning sister and her boyfriend went out to Sw. I felt so boring at home,then i ask my mom to ask my dad to Sw for shopping too. hahahha

We reached there like 3 something or 4? Forget already,hehehh :-) walked around 6 floor and i was wondering why there so many PEOPLES!! My mom reminded me that today is Deepavali which is public holiday. LOL

Since last time went 1u with my mom, and she promise me she wanna buy me a pair of shoes, uhmm,some kind os sneakers..maybe. She ask me to tell her if i saw nice one,and she will pay. I keep looking for Adidas,Converse and bla bla bla...but can't find a ''my-love-one''. Guess what? me and my mom fall in love with the same shoes at the same time today.

TaaDaaaaaaaaa..

It cost my mom RM119. Awww,thanks mom! I love it so much.

Know what, after she paid she want me to wear it straight. And keep ask me ''You like it or not?'' *like thousand times* LOL

After that we walked all the way from sw to Pavilion. And i saw there still alot of peoples queue for Uniqlo. hmmm, is that too over? :-s

Had our late lunch at wong kok,then do some shopping.

Get a dress and t-shirt from Dorothy Perkins. There're having sales ;-D

That's my happy family day <3 simple but happy!

I LOVE MY MOM!!

*study mode start tomorrow!*

Is Deepavali !!

2010-11-05T12:35:00.000+08:00

HAPPY DEEPAVALI :-D

Oh shit! Spm just few more days to go. I didnt study at all. How?!!!! I'm still in holiday mood. And PLKN after spm?!

Shytttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt :-(

自作自受。

2010-11-04T13:29:00.000+08:00

我們常常以為自己很瞭解自己，其實一點都不。我連自己到底喜不喜歡我都不懂...我願意一直停留都不願意去想想或是搞清楚自己想要什麽！我總是不停的在逃避問題。一直到失去了，自己才來後悔？

別人願意等你，並不代表那是理所當然的！他也有他選擇的權利。既然你不願意前進，那你認為他還有那個義務去繼續守著嗎？我是太高估自己了還是怎樣?!

我好像把一切都看得太理所當然了....所以這就是我自作自受。你想走就走吧...我留不了，也不懂該如何去留。因為我不擅長苦苦哀求或死纏爛打，這樣討回來的感情沒有什麽意義。

UNIQLO in KL?

2010-11-03T14:42:00.000+08:00

UNIQLO is coming to KL Fahrenheit88 !!!

Am now looking through Uniqlo's webside, to see what can i grab. Still not sure whether tomorrow go or not :-(

Openning special only for 4-18 Nov? But i think is better if can go visit earlier...uhmmmm *sigh*

Whatever, go and check out uniqlo's webside! See what can you grab tomorrow :-D

click UNIQLO

Colourful!

2010-10-31T00:06:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! :-D

Is helloween, we should take a basket and go visit house by house to get some sweets. HAHAHA. But, here is Malaysia.

I don't know why Malaysia could not improve. Although our country have been merdeka like almost 50years plus? By the way, Singapore is much more different compare with my ''beloved country''. Luciky Singapore have been merdeka, and they're not under Malaysia.

Opps!!

Change topic,change topic..lol :-P

Nowdays, i'm trying not to hang out often. WHY? because I'm trying to save more money to spend after spm. hehhehe,clever me?

Will be having a trip to genting with my the girls after spm,i think...And my mom reminded me one important thing justnow. She ask me ''You wanna dye your hair after spm?what colour huh?'' OHH,thanks my mom for remind me. hahhahaha!

Still considering what colour, maybe.....

* Uhmmmmm..Lena Fuji brown? light brown? *

* Katy Perry pepsi blue? *

* Lady GaGa pink? *

Ohhhhh, OR this..

* Spongebob yellow?! *

LOL,ok..i'm just joking xD

Let me think about that.... :-) or any idea?

Is dead.

2010-10-27T00:59:00.000+08:00

Uhmm,ya..my blog is dead, and Paul is dead too.

I know, it's a lame opening. But i have really no idea what to blog nowdays. Nothing much to blog...but keep visit my blog please :-D

And leave me a comment or DONT-FORGET-TO-CLICK-ON-THE-ADVERTISMENT *hehehhe*

Maybe you can follow my twitter, am currently stuck with twitter! Twitt Me!!

Am not lazy to blog, just maybe i'm too much thing to do. Anyway,SPM is around the corner..i have to do some preparation.

I was keep skipping school this few weeks. Idk why, i am getting lazy nowdays. Obviously, tomorrow i am not going to school also. If not, i'll not here writing my blog. :-P

Promise that i'll update my blog again very soon. Thinking something new for my blog, wanna know what?

Keep visit my blog then :-))))

GOOD NIGHT <3

See ya!

The Child's Eye.

2010-10-17T01:52:00.000+08:00

Was a good day hang out with my mom and sister. :-D

we went to watch The Child's Eye.....ishhh! I hate this kind of movie.
Nothing special happen..uhmm, after movie mom said wanna go and ask for some information about Toyota Camry.
Seriously, you really wanna buy the car? LOL,by the way, the car is quite nice :-)

nothing much to write already i think, is 2.07am now. Is sunday again -.-
I should go to bed now, because i started feel abit starving.

Good night <3

Woahh :D

2010-10-15T22:52:00.001+08:00

Woahhhh!! Have been a while i didnt touch my blog. Am darn free actually, because trial was over and.............my driving test was over too! Teehee :-D

Guess what? I passed my driving test!! woooooosss. I woke up in the very early morning because of my nervousness. I keep worried about it, fcuking nervous man! Before i get into the car to have my on the road test, i prayed hard.

Fortunately, God really bless me :-) ohh,thanks God.

Am very very very happy! Because-I-can-get-my-lecense-on-next-wednesday. hahhahahhhah, my mood is so good, but i have no study mood. I means, i am lazy to go to school recently. I skipped school, frequently. Wondering when can i get my second warning letter? I wish i could get it too, because i never try to receive second warning letter. Is my last year in highschool, i should try everything that i never try to do before this, if not i'll lost this chance soon after i graduate. Right? *Evil Laugh*

Today, went out to have lunch with the girls. Am so happy :-)

*i cut my fringe,weird?uhmmm..*

*They always leave alot of good memories for me.*

*MINE*

* Is today's sky :-) *

Wish me luck!!

2010-10-12T13:39:00.002+08:00

My Grandmom have been moved in to my house. Today is the second day.I never stay with my grandmom before this.lol, still feel weird like...idk why -.-

Finally, trial exam is over. Means that,SPM is coming soooooon!! wooots,so excited

hahahhh, i am so looking forward to spm. wondering why? same answer,''idk''. And today is the last day for my driving lesson.

OH-EMM-GEEEE, is tomorrow!! tomorrow is my first driving test, wish me luck,wish me luck pleaseeeeee! Wish i could get the easier A road, and pass my test. Am so nervous. when i get nervous, i'll lost control. How? teach me how to calm down.

God bless me.

Halloween coming soon?

2010-10-10T01:08:00.001+08:00

Ugly Bitch Tutorial For Halloween

Enjoy :)

Is Today,Was Yesterday.

2010-10-09T17:39:00.001+08:00

Heyy, i am still alive. hahhahh

By the way,i need to give a big clap for myself. Guess what? I slept on 8pm lastnight!!!! and woke up on 9 something this morning *Horrible shit*

Can you imagine how tired i was?

Thursday, was my econ exam paper2. I almost blank my whole paper. Seriously gave up! I am tired with economy and account. I decided to give up my econ and put all the effort on my account and maybe science too.
Another thing that made me very tiring and headache is my driving test,on next wednesday. Don't know i can pass or not : (
Friday i went for my driving lesson. The third time, oh goshhhhh..damn tired, i means my leg and my hand. That's why i slept so early lastnight.

Argggg! I need a break.

HAPPY SEVENTEEN BIRTHDAY.

2010-10-06T01:35:00.000+08:00

Just want it to be Alive.

2010-10-05T19:27:00.000+08:00

Actually this post is just a very randomly post. Those pictures are captured by me. *wink*
The weather was so good after the rain. I walked around my house and saw this. I don't know why i captured this scene. But it was quite attracted my sight.

Have you ever make something unspecial being special?

Lol, is just a question. I'm not being emo. :) I hope i can do well for my account test on next Monday, and also my driving test on next Wednesday. God bless me!

P/s: 成功離我還有很遠。

wrong timing :(

2010-10-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

I am sick.

: (

why?? Having exam now and i am sick, damn shit!! I slept like a dead bees this whole noon, and now i still feel very tired. Plus, headache!!

Tomorrow is econ paper1.

Seriously, i didnt touch any notes or book at all. So you guys,wish me luck please. Tomorrow after school still have driving lesson. I hope i can fully recover tomorrow. If not, how i going to do that all?

Perhaps,i need to go sleep now. Can't stand for my headache anymore.

Good night,world.

2nd October.

2010-10-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Woaahh, is raining heavily now!! Good time to sleep, right? =D

By the way, today was another tiring day too. Woke up in the early morning, headed to hospital with my mom and my sister. For accompany my mom to consult a doctor. Don't worry, she is fine : ) Just because of her medicine had finished and she need to go to hospital to get her medicine.

Spent my whole morning in the hospital. And i was really not feeling well since i woke up this morning, so i ate some medicine before going out. The shit medicine made me felt damnnnnnn sleepy!! but i couldn't sleep, pity me : (

*Tengok aku punya sleepy facee*

Again, muka cacat!

After leaving hospital, my sister wanted to go sg.wang to buy her BB cream. The BB cream not bad, but quite expensive. I have no income now, couldn't get one for myself. sad case : (

camwhoring is much more better than watching her choosing stuffs.

LOOOL

Before leaving, i saw a quite nice bracelet. I bought it!! :D

SEE!!

The first one,leopard print. Nice?

Guess what? It's damnnn cheap, only Rm10.

wooots <3

Driving is fun :D

2010-10-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

My hands and legs now are freaking tired. There no power steering for Kancil??? Gosh.
Plus, my trainer was a freaking crazy indian man.LOL. Btw,he is kind and funny. He forced me to drove on the road although i told him i am so scare. While i am very concentrated, he keep talking to me and make JOKE! what a trainer huh?
First driving lesson and he want me to drove along the Fraser Hill road.

I said '' Sini banyak corner ehh, jalan bukit ehh, saya takut la! ''
He said '' Ah moi, awak ingat saya tak takut ka? Awak takut saya lagi takut eh. Lagi cakap takut saya tak mau kawan sama you. ''

The other funny conversation is...
when i was driving, and there many shape corner, I am very concentrated on controlling my steering. He keep talk to me, here la that la.

He said '' Lenglui...tengok empangan ni sangat cantik! '' *and bla bla bla,not even remember what did he said*
And I said '' Jangan cakap dengan saya!! Saya nak concentrate! ''
LOL
Sorry Mr. :p

He taught me everythings in four hours. And the side parking too!! wow,is fun! =D But also very tiring. I hope i can drive now.
Oh my god,crazy me! hahahah

空窗期。

2010-09-30T01:27:00.000+08:00

歷史考完了。雖然paper 2空了很多，可是應該能及格吧.. :p 很想快點考SPM。完全不想再等了！我的last paper是Econ，在12月20。考完又是聖誕節了!!! 想到聖誕節就會覺得時間真的過得很快。真的很快....那麼多年的聖誕節我都是自己一個人過，當然還有我的家人和朋友 : ) 每年聖誕節之前都希望今年的聖誕節會和以往不同，可是都一樣，沒變過。過的最開心的一年，也就是我最難忘的聖誕節就是我12歲那年。第一次去babe家過夜，然後去Genting countdown，還有我做了很多很瘋狂的事...哈哈 :D *畢生難忘*

現在一說到平安夜countdown我就會想起那年發生的事。真是年少輕狂!! 今年的平安夜我不期望發生什麽特別難忘的事情，只希望能開開心心的過。人長大了，想的東西也就跟著改變。以前13,14歲的時候很叛逆，喜歡刺激。媽媽越不讓我做的事，我就偏要做。現在想起覺得還真笨。越是要媽媽給我多點自由，她就越覺得我不成熟。現在不同了....她不讓我做的，我也就不做。反正她反對一定是有她的理由，和她作對對我也沒好處。很多朋友問我爲什麽出夜街要那麼早回家，問我是不是媽媽會罵？我說，太晚回家媽媽當然會罵。問題是，我不是不能晚回，而是沒必要。我沒必要讓我媽媽等我的門，我沒必要讓她一直打電話給我問長問短，我沒必要讓她擔心我。Right?

今天朋友說我的空窗期什麽什麽的...不懂他什麽意思。回家查了查才知道空窗期的意思，哈哈!

我的空窗期？...

hahahahahhah

晚安啦！ <3

How time flies!

2010-09-28T23:53:00.001+08:00

....

You ain't by my side, and no one is there.

Time change everything and everyone around, I'm changed too.

But I am still who I am.

still me and only me.

I miss everything had happened.

About the past.

My primary school life, primary classmates. Secondary school life and everything have been appear in my teenage life. Time slid by, and i am in high school now..When i was young, I wish to grow up faster. And now, i hope i could stop the time.

Because, I don't want to grow old.

: (

Good morning and Nights :)

2010-09-28T00:05:00.001+08:00

*blur uh?*

Just want to tell you guys, i have been study my history for like few hours. But, i get nothing from those notes. My brain now is having Perang Dunia Ketiga,hahahha xD

Pray hard before sleep.

God bless me, please!!

or else i'll just blank my sej paper2. LOOOOL

My man.

2010-09-26T15:44:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!!!

He is awesome!! Totally fall for him already. Since IpMan till CHEN ZHEN <3 I hope i can touch his big muscles. Sounds horny? YA, i am! :D

Just very love him, every action, every emotion of his face....ok, i know i am crazy, just ignore my post if you feel annoying.

How perfect he is. You guys must watch this movie. Although there some action is over fake, but for me is acceptable, because i am his crazy fans.LOLLL

Last night babe texted me, sorry for not reply you immediately, because my phone was out of credit. Babe at Pavilion lastnight, but i was at 1u. Lost the chance to meet again : (

went home on 2something, and reached home on 3am. I didnt do any revision for my math at all. I hate math!!! And later will be going out for dinner. No time for me to study,oppps! Actually is me too lazy *honestly admit* : ) So,how i gonna answer my two math papers tomorrow? Just let it be la..annoying shit!

Ok,bye bye. Wish me luck!

Is a title.

2010-09-25T21:09:00.000+08:00

*wondering why i look sad in this pic*

Everytime i wanted to write blog, the most annoying thing is i need to think a title for my post. Quite lazy to think you know? The title was a title, is just a title,LOLLL!

Actually this post is just a random boring post. Monday will take math paper : ( I'm so 'pro' in math!! haih, planning to start study today, but failed. After answer few question i gave up already, i really have no idea. DISLIKE!
Tomorrow study? Hmmm, tomorrow will be going out for mom's birthday dinner. So, anytime for me to study?
Tonight? NOWAY! I am going out later to watch Legend of the Fist -The Return of CHEN ZHEN <3
Conclusion, no need to study la. Great right? *YA*

ok,going fast. My mom keep blablabla ask me go bath jor. Friends coming to fetch me on 11pm later.

Show you guys my snack : ) Very healthy one!

There're some carrots, and two type of pears.

I recommend this pear, because it taste different with others. I don't know what this pear name, but i think you can get it at anywhere. Because my mom bought it from pasar.

Trust me,really tasty and juicy. *nom nom nom*

GTG, bye!!

Korean Rock Start.

2010-09-24T21:22:00.003+08:00

Yea, since i was too free just now. I tried to learn korean-girl-makeup-skill. But seem like i've failed with the eyeline. Know why? Because of my double-eyelids. *waa daa frugg*

Have been long time i didn't put so thick eyeliner already. Today i did it again. Even though look weird, but i like it :D

Firstly, i put on my make up base. Recommended by my sister.

Next, concealer. I prefer either Bobbi Brown or MAC.

But,currently i using MAC : )

*I have a big eye-dark-circle,althought with concealer but still can't cover all. Big Sigh*

I didn't put liquid foundation or else. Because i don't have smooth skin and i don't wanna my skin become more worst, so not everytime going out also will put foundation. But sometimes i do.

Besides foundation, i'll also use loose powder. Put loose powder is more comfortable compare with foundation.

Then become this :

Continue with the eye brown.

I don't know what brand is it, but quite easy to draw. Because i'm not really pro in drawing a nice eye brown.LOLL

And also the eye liner.

FYI, i use Mac pencil eyeliner to apply the inner eyeliner. And use either Kanebo liquid eyeliner or Majolica liquid eyeliner to apply the outer eyeline.

Oh,ya. Before apply eyeliner i usually will put on my eyeshadow first. Use the lightest colour to highlight the eyelids. I normally use light golden brown as the base.

After that will apply the bottom eyeline by using Mac too and also with a little bit dark colour eye shadow before apply eyeliner.

Is almost done. Due to my laziness, i didnt apply mascara : )

Lastly, apply your blush on your cheek. *i didn't apply also,LOL*

And the lip gloss too : )

DONE!

Hope you like my unperfect korean make up skill.

To never drunk

2010-09-23T18:34:00.003+08:00

Is about last saturday night. After came back from KLCC with my sister, bath and dress up again to a family dinner at Kepong. Uhmm, i think around Manjalara there. LOL,that place have been reminded me something. *shame shame*

I guess right, it was a quite boring family dinner. Alot of I-DONT-KNOW-WHO'S-THAT 's relatives. My sister and my brother didn't join us that night *shit,you both are freaking clever uh!!* Just i'm there...of course my mom and my father is there too, but what they talking about is not for my channel. : (

Not remember how many i have drink that night. But i just couldn't let myself drunk.

I was keep wondering why.

Honestly, i am quite moodly that night. That's why i drink alot. I never drink that much before,

Gosh!

Back to today. Today is my first day of trial. BM paper. I think i did well, because i tried my best. Although there still some peribahasa idk how to do,so i just blank. Because i really didn't study at all last night. Lastnight was Mid autumm festival ,i didn't burn latern,lol. But i went to grandmom house having dinner. Every year also same,never change : ) because i like to drink the soup that cook by my grandmom. *NomNomNom* .

And tomorrow is BI paper, wish me luck!!

Thanks the Faith.

2010-09-21T21:25:00.001+08:00

So, all the things i planed is totally useless already now. Meaningless. But is ok, i know the fact and i know what should i do : )

Thanks.

D:

2010-09-20T21:09:00.003+08:00

*淡淡的微笑能夠掩蓋我內心的不安*

Two more days to go...TRIAL!!

*can i just skip trial and straight forward to SPM?*
LOL,wookay..I know now is too early to dreaming. hmmmmmm. But anyway, i'll work hard for my exam. I know that everything that i learnt is all for myself not others.Just i am too lazy. I always perpare everything at last minute,it's my style.
*wink*

Ow, rain again? Rainy day make me feel so sleepy,lol..actually that's due to my laziness. There're too many reasons for me to being lazy :D Please,forgive me. hahaha

Last night i went to bed on 12.30am, rolling rolling on my bed, keep thinking thinking of someone. Almost 2am only sleep.Ya, i force myself to sleep!! know what guys? When a girl is ignoring you, it's when she needs you the most. Please, men should know about that.

IMY today.

September.

2010-09-19T14:57:00.002+08:00

* FML *

I guess this month is the most unfree and stressful month i ever had.
D:

Trial start on 23/9. Almost take 3weeks i think. Besides, i will be have my car test straight after trial.
OH SHIT!!!
I can seriously feel the stress now. Actually my mom didn't give me any stress on my studies result. The stress is all came from myself. I am so weird,right?
I wondering why i keep giving alot of stress for myself. *fml*

Now i have 4 more karangan, and 7subjects which include paper1&2. I have to finish up by today.
Can i ?

Lil silly girl

2010-09-18T00:35:00.002+08:00

Please call me lil silly StellaBees!!! =P

I can't believe that i did those silly thing. hahhahahhah!! OMFG, never ever do that again.
I swear.
Tomorrow going to take my heels. Should i do something....uhmmmmm. I have no idea. Just make sure i won't do some stupid action tomorrow. *blink blink*

Malaysia day.

2010-09-16T15:16:00.001+08:00

I'm so freaking boring and tired.

*AGHHH*

This morning 4am only go to bed. Btw,i was still very semangat that time. Just because i have nothing much nto do anymore, so better go sleep lo.

Someone said I'm drama queen. Why he said so huh?

LOLLL

Due to the boredness, i watch GossipGirl season 3 again. Ya,again!!

Chat with my babe lastnight, she doesn't in mood because of some problem. We both miss the day when we was in primary school. The days she came my house and overnight. We share every happy and unhappy things. Now we're far apart from each others : ( But we still love each other. She is my only listener, the only one who know me well. <3

We both kena PLKN. *sigh* I hope we can get into the same college, then we can spend more time together like last time when we're in primary school.

P/s: I miss starbucks so much!! : (

你明唔明解?

2010-09-15T17:33:00.002+08:00

今日個mood唔系幾好。我覺得自己很矛盾! 明明很想很期待的事情，竟然唔知因為乜原因去拒絕。連我自己都唔知點解...我覺得我好失敗!! 一遇到什麽障礙或是問題就逃避。唔系唔想解決，是覺得解決了對我來講都沒用。其實如果你問我系乜問題那麼煩，我想我自己都答唔到你。可能個問題就是我自己，亦可能一直都系我自己系到製造問題。

有些事，唔系沒經歷過，唔系唔知道結果。但系我堅持相信可能這次的結果會唔同。點知最後又再次證明世界系沒奇跡的。我又要再次承受失敗以後的感覺。重複又重複，難道這就系人生？假如你問我，如果再有同樣的事情發生，你會唔會再去相信這次會有唔同，再去嘗試。我會答你‘我會！’

我唔系想堅持d乜。我只系想證明給自己看，我相信的一定會發生！我唔系一個固執的人。我只會堅持我自己覺得對和自己喜歡的人和事。但系這份別人認為是無謂的堅持卻真的帶給我自己很多的壓力。

我其實對於我自己中意的嘢系好認真嘅。但系很多人往往都唔信我。你知唔知點解？......唔系因為我嘅樣很唔認真，而是他們覺得我這個年齡的女孩子不懂得認真。

其實我覺得你們真系很膚淺！！用年齡去判斷一個人的認真？邊個教你噶？*勁弱智* 你年長，可能你的人生經歷會比我多但系唔一定比我豐富和精彩。呢個系我講的!

好啦! 唔系度talk crap 啦。Bye bye

PEACE <3

Touched my heart.

2010-09-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

He sent me this song just now.

I stunned.

After i heard this song with lyrics.

And he force me to post it on my blog here. LOL.

He said '' post it! If not i'll call you at the midnight and sing this song through phone''

Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Lady Antebellum

I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way

Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away
And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just wake up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, but it's never too much.
I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my wall

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
Oh, this feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

You really a good guy. I know. Thanks for cheer me up all the times.
: )

I done you!

2010-09-13T22:49:00.000+08:00

woots!!!! :D

Seriously headache now. *shit*

But i feel happy now, because my sej papers finished already. Gosh! sitting infront of the laptop this whole evening. Ya, i searched the answers on google. Those stupid sejarah essey!!!
And guess what? When i was trying my best to finish up and concentrate on my sej papers, my sister and her boyfriend watching ''Piranha'' behind me. Keep having screaming sounds around me. Annoying shit!!!

Uhmm, just a random post. LOLLL
wait for my next post : )

Family trip

2010-09-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

What's my Raya holiday plan? Ya..having a trip with my family to Kuantan,cherating. I have no idea with this place. Kuantan is seriously a damn boring place i ever been before. But, the beach and the sea is freaking awesome.

Let's pictures do talking : ) *my nail is long now,quite hard to type*

was quite boring along the journey,luckily i have my phone.LOL

this panggil la muka cacat!!!

Reached Kuantan.

and i saw this signboard. I never saw this kind of signboard before this.

hahahaha

After half hour or plus...idk. Then i saw the BEACCCH!!

This wasn't cherating i think. But the sea and the beach was quite nice.

Alot of peepoos there.

After this place,we continue our journey to cherating. We used around 45min to reached.

There are really kampung. So kampung!

No shopping complex, no entertainment, like nothing at all. Opps,ya..there have alot of mamak stall.

LOL

By the way, i like this place.So peaceful <3

walking along the beach near to our chalet.

*fresh air do help me clear my mind*

the water is so clear. More clear than penang beach.

After dinner, we decided to have a walk at the beach. Night beach with beer,AWESOME!

and crab!! hahahah, wayne did well on catching crab. The way he catch the crab is freaking unique.

I never ever seen before! *swear* LMFAO.

Second day,

sat on the beach in the morning alone.

sun burn my skin!

Before leaving cherating. Go see something special!!

Penyu!! my very first time :)))

Okay,time to go. Wait for my next post.

: )

Bye!

I think what are you thinking about.

2010-09-10T21:08:00.003+08:00

If and only if...my heart is connecting with yours,then i'll be more easier this few days. The words you told me that night was keep floating on my mind. I am trying my best to stop thinking all about you.
But obviously, i failed.

Someone come and slap me,kick my ass or else please. But i think i need a big hug more than anything right now.

Don't worry, i just need some time to digest this fact. No more beer tonight, but red wain will be. I'll be fine.

Starbucks addicted.

2010-09-09T15:21:00.001+08:00

What you like to do when you're alone?

As usual, I like to buy a starbucks hot chocolate or mocha frapp and sit at a corner in starbucks.

without anyone beside, i could use the time to think about many things. Sometimes with a book,maybe.
Or looking at the peoples walking on the street, notice everything happen on the street. Is quite interesting for me.

LOL

but sounds lame, right?

I did it!

2010-09-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

Proud of myself.

know what? Handphone is a great stuff for us to keep contact with our beloved, friends and family. It used to be a very useful and helpful gadget in our daily life. And yet, some people using this stuff as the way to do their commercial for their business. Keep calling , keep sending some annoying msg...and your phone keep ''ring ring ring''. I hate this happened when i'm really waiting for an important call or msg.

Is freaking annoying and i having a shit mood today, so i decided to on my phone silence mode and throw my phone away from me from this early morning till now. What i get? I felt so peaceful. Sorry for my friends that i didn't answer your call and reply your msg. I just want my day be silence since my mood was still like a piece of shit.

The best way for me to feel better is stay away from you and avoid to being close to you.
I did it. *congrat bee*

Just let me..

2010-09-07T23:48:00.001+08:00

Just let me be what i want to be! And leave me alone, stay away from me.
Those words is so annoying my mind now.
Hundred words in my heart. Jam in my heart. *like traffic jam* know?
I am totally speechless infront of you!
so, confused me.

Try to think about my feeling from my side now,please!

Bee with the study group.

2010-09-06T20:42:00.001+08:00

We're not hardworking, but we study together like we're really so hardworking. weird?

Ya, stellabees is not a hardworking girl. But have no choice. School have been gave us alot of exercises. We need to finish ALL! we must.
so few of us decided to sit in a place sambil chit-chat sambil doing our exercises. Sharing answer. LOL,you know? sharing is caring ;p

Them. without me. *wink*

Here I come :)

Sorry, i din't put any makeup at all. because,I am study!!

We sat at oldtown from breakfast time till 4something. swt*Semangat!!

What's tomorrow plan?

might going to bookfair.Meet up with chuuchuu,perhaps. And how about Raya holidays? I don't think i'll have the raya holiday. Because maybe i will work at Pavilion from thursday till next wednesday. Maybe,not sure yet. (depends on my mood)